The Vengabus came (and has been stuck in my head ever since).

I think we can all agree that getting swag beats getting herpes any day.

It was a crowded field in the final stretch of trivia Tuesday night, but Everyone's Favorite STD held onto a five-point lead through the final round and emerged victorious. They took home the Crown Royal beanie and a couple of sweet t-shirts from the Cheerful's swag closet.

In other news, there are some ch-ch-ch-changes to report at the Cheerful Tort. After eight months of hosting here, I am moving on to greener pastures. (Or at least more studious ones; winter term is on its way, and unfortunately the 5-6 hours a week it takes to write, research, and personally present quizzes worthy of Portland's most ardent triviaphiles isn't in the time budget at the moment.)

Any qualms I had about passing the torch onto a newbie were quickly put to rest when new trivia jock Beth picked up the mic and started pumping Cee Lo and Vengaboys. While I will probably resurface sometime in the next month or two at a yet-to-be-determined venue in my continued quest to expand the empire, the Cheerful has been my home pub longer than any other so far, and what a fun ride it's been. A special mention goes to What's in Dan's Beard?, AKA Scipio Africanus, AKA Don't Trip Baby, I'm Gonna Pull Out, AKA Pumpkin Tits, AKA... God, they've just had too many great names to count. These ladies (along with the occasional gentlemen) were there from the beginning and have been frequent and enthusiastic supporters throughout the continuing evolution of Tuesday Tortoise Trivia.

Me, with Peaches, Courtney and Allie of What's in Dan's Beard? Not pictured: Dan's beard.

Okay, so onto the bottom line. How did everyone do? As I said, it was a crowded field, and the numbers don't lie. We Suck Well (I'm sure "Drinks" was the implied fourth word there) departed prematurely, so don't let the 34-point tally fool you; they held their own just fine, thank you. I don't know quite what to make of The Rapist's Wit, but I think it's safe to say that dudes who spend the night playing pool in the next room aren't all that invested in winning at trivia. And while I generally think this town has all the irony it needs and then some in the sea of 'staches and trucker hats bobbing along the Hawthorne strip on any given day, I can only hope there was some involved in the concoction of that team name.

Everyone's Favorite STD (80)

What's in Dan's Beard? (75)

Rudolph's Enormous, Throbbing, Red-Tipped... Nose (75)

Homar (70)

We Suck Well (34)

The Rapist's Wit (0)

ROUND ONE
Q1 (TV) What fictional character has been referred to as “the most popular Democratic president in recent memory”? A: Josiah Bartlet (from The West Wing)
Q2 (Horticulture) What fruit, also known as the alligator pear, gets 75% of its calories from fat? A: Avocado
Q3 (Astronomy) What planet, sometimes called Earth’s “sister planet”, is the only planet to rotate clockwise on its axis? A: Venus
Q4 (Sports) What snack company has sponsored the Fiesta Bowl using one of their product names from since 1996? A: Frito-Lay (Tostitos)

ROUND TWO
Q1 (Famous Crimes) November 24th marked the 39th anniversary of the D.B. Cooper aircraft hijacking, the only unsolved case of its kind in the U.S. From which airport did the hijacking originate? A: Portland International
Q2 (History) The first U.S. mint facility was established by the Coinage Act of 1792 in what city, then the capital of the United States? A: Philadelphia
Q3 (TV) What actor, comedian, author and bluegrass musician has hosted Saturday Night Live 15 times, sharing the most frequent host title with Alec Baldwin? A: Steve Martin
Q4 (Comics) What recurring character in the Batman comics is related to Batgirl? A: Commissioner Gordon

ROUND THREE
Q1 (Celebrities) What celebrity had to issue an apology in February 2005 after her T-Mobile Sidekick was hacked and her famous friends’ emails and phone numbers were leaked on the Internet? A: Paris Hilton
Q2 (Wars) What two Asian countries were already at war with each other prior to the outbreak of World War II? A: China and Japan
Q3 (The Bible) With 150 chapters, what book of the Bible is the longest? A: Psalms
Q4 (Food) What Mexican breakfast dish is sometimes translated as “country eggs”? A: huevos rancheros

ROUND FOUR
Q1 (Medicine) Ranked the #2 hospital in the United States overall by U.S. News and World Report, the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota is ranked #1 in three areas of medical expertise; name ONE of them. A: diabetes disorders, gastroenterology, and kidney disorders
Q2 (Countries) In what modern-day Scandinavian country was the epic Beowulf take place? A: Denmark
Q3 (Actors) What actor, the 8th of 9 Wahlberg children, currently stars as a New York City detective on the CBS series Blue Bloods? A: Donnie Wahlberg
Q4 (Language) The countries of Benin, Gabon, Cameroon, Equitorial Guinea and Rwanda all have what official language in common? A: French

STUMPED IN STUMPTOWN
Q1 For most of 2009, Portland held the title of the largest U.S. city to have elected an openly gay mayor. Which city held the title prior to Portland, and which city holds it now? A: Providence, RI; Houston, TX
Q2 A proposed streetcar route from downtown Portland to what city nine miles away in Clackamas County was recently price tagged at up to $450 million dollars? A: Lake Oswego

Ironically, there were no "wardrobe malfunctions" during Super Bowl XXX

What did we learn tonight? Sperm move approximately 1 centimeter per 800 movements of their tail, the average human tastebud lives ten days, and unlimited texting plans sure pay for themselves at pub trivia.

For the first time I can remember, I've had to break a tie. The question asked what the odds were of dying from falling out of bed (1 in 2 million); the team that texted the closest number to the correct answer by the end of the song took it, and that happened to be That's What She Said. Great job, guys.

1. That's What She Said (97)
2. Triple Nerd Score (96)
3. Josh Acosta's Sexual Innuendos (90)
4. Team Anna (66)
5. Duck Tits Goose/Kathleen Turner Overdrive (53)

Here are your questions and correct answers from tonight's round of trivia:

ROUND ONE
Q1 (Countries) What nation has an intelligence and special operations force known as the Mossad? A: Israel
Q2 (Physics) A BTU, or British thermal unit, is the amount of energy required to raise the temperature of what amount of water by one degree? A: one pound
Q3 (Video Games) Mario debuted as a carpenter named “Jumpman” with a monkey sidekick in what 1981 arcade game? A: Donkey Kong
Q4 (National Parks) Created by an act of Congress in 2004, what Colorado park, containing North America’s tallest sand dunes, is America’s newest National Park? A: Great Sand Dunes National Park

ROUND TWO
Q1 (Music) What Massachusetts-born singer-songwriter had a cameo appearance in the 2009 film Funny People, wherein he exclaimed, “Fuck Facebook!” A: James Taylor
Q2 (Metallurgy) Similar to soldering, what is the term for joining two metal parts with an alloy whose melting temperature is higher than 450 degrees Celsius (800 deg F)? A: Brazing
Q3 (Sports) In football, what is the only play in which the team not in possession of the ball can score points? A: safety
Q4 (The Bible) Which son of David and Bathsheba became the final king of Israel before the northern kingdom of Israel split from the southern kingdom of Judah? A: Solomon

ROUND THREE
Q1 (Recreation) Slalom skiing refers to zigzagging between obstacles on a ski slope, but in the context of waterskiing to slalom means to do what? A: use one ski
Q2 (Music) What Canadian songwriter, author and lecturer was once called “the most popular children’s entertainer in the English-speaking world”? A: Raffi (full name Raffi Cavoukian)
Q3 (Business) The phrase “triple bottom line” refers to an organization or company committed to some form of social responsibility. Along with profit, what two p-words are often used to refer to the “other” bottom lines? A: people, planet
Q4 (Geography) What river, the third longest in the world, runs through the cities of Wuhan and Hubei before emptying into the sea at Shanghai? A: Yangtze/Chang Jiang

ROUND FOUR
Q1 (Animals) The population decline and extinction of the Tasmanian wolf, the largest carnivorous marsupial of its time, is largely blamed on what wild canine? A: dingo
Q2 (TV) What TV series is given a new subtitle every season and just completed its 20th season, subtitled Heroes & Villains? A: Survivor
Q3 (Tourism) In 2009, what European tourist attraction did TripAdvisor.com rate the world’s most unhygienic? A: the Blarney Stone
Q4 (Internet) Which Super Bowl, played between the Cowboys and the Steelers, reportedly had access to its website blocked by some computer content filters? A: Super Bowl XXX (30)

STUMPED IN STUMPTOWN
Q1 What two counties cover the northern and southern halves of Sauvie Island, respectively? A: Columbia and Multnomah
Q2 What Portland author, born in 1916, won the 1984 Newbery Medal for her book Dear Mr. Henshaw? A: Beverly Clearly