That's the funny thing about pub quizzes. People drink first and ask questions later.

After a week of waiting, I've accepted the fact that some politicians can't be bought, even with Nightmare on Elm Street swag. A week ago, I emailed Sam Adams' chief of staff, thinking it would be cool if the man would lend his signature to a promo basketball bearing his/the prominently non-local beer company's name. Crickets. Maybe I'll grit my teeth and hit up Chris Dudley?

Either way, I've decided I'm justified in expressing my disappointment as a lame joke (that will probably preclude me from ever seeking public office). This is how I imagine my email was received:

Congratulations to last night's champions, Beer:30! A big thank you goes out to all of last night's teams, who were awesome, hilarious, and kept the Chuck Norris jokes flowing. Though I initially worried the irony of giving away promotional Splice t-shirts to those who conquered the bad movie bonus round would be too much for some to bear, the flick is actually holding an 81% fresh rating on RottenTomatoes.com at the moment. Maybe next week I'll give away some tickets to it.

The standings, as of the end of the night:

Beer:30 168

Shoe Twins 131

We're So Glam We Piss Glitter 124

The A-Team 121

Team Zaaah! 92

Propinquity 86

The Wankers 44

Funniest Team Name:

We're So Glam We Piss Glitter

Most Appropriate and/or Cerebral Team Name:

Propinquity

Best Chuck Norris fact of the evening (as measured by popular vote):

"Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now simple known as The Islands."

Best Doodle (of Chuck Norris... with a giant erection?):

Shoe Twins

Answers to the Bad Movie Bonus Round... with Tomatometer ratings and review snippets matched to the movie:

Batman & Robin (12%) "The franchise has gotten aggressively unsatisfying."

Howard the Duck (16%) "Okay, so I liked it. I'm one of five people on the planet. Sue me, all right?"

Gigli (6%) "How any relationship could be expected to survive after [seeing it] is a mystery. So if you're thinking of bringing someone for the laugh, be prepared to go home alone."

2012 (39%) "A boring, stupid, overlong, obnoxious, soulless piece of Hollywood 'product'."

10,000 B.C. (9%) "This is like Uwe Boll with a budget. It's the village idiot of movies."

Catwoman (10%) "Exactly as awful as it was rumored to be."

Sex and the City 2 (12%) "...like watching Us Weekly prank call The New York Times."
Spider-Man 3 (63%) "The proceedings in this grand hodgepodge are so disordered that it would be no surprise were a Nazgul to fly into the scene, perhaps ridden by Dr. Zaius."
Battlefield Earth (2%) "If you are looking for something to hate and despise, get thee to this movie."

Kazaam (4%) "Overall, a compelling argument for [Shaquille O'Neal] to keep his day job."

House of the Dead (4%) "Boll directs the film as indiscriminately as the characters fire their weapons."
The Postman (10%) "Return to sender. Audience unknown."

Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (5%) "Being shot would be preferable to sitting through this."

Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (0%) "Who exactly is fighting whom here? Ah, yes, that would be me: fighting off the urge to doze."

From Justin to Kelly (8%) "It's like Grease: The Next Generation acted out by the food court staff at SeaWorld."
The Adventures of Pluto Nash (6%) "Movie fans, get ready to take off... in the other direction."
Showgirls (14%) "As hoary as it is whore-y."

Son of the Mask (7%) "There's an audience out there for movies like [this], but it's too depressing to speculate who that might be."

Basic Instinct 2 (7%) "It's not an erotic thriller. It's taxidermy."

Superbabies 2: Baby Geniuses (0%) "Whoever gave this the green light should be spanked."